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For context, my parents, 83 and 85, both have Alzheimer's, dementia, and memory loss. Their symptoms have increasingly worsened over the last decade. In addition, my father has anxiety, paranoia, and wanders. My mother has high levels of frustration and will hit herself in the head when she becomes agitated. They both have sundowning syndrome, which makes things worse. Their short-term memory is almost non-existent, but long-term memories remain fairly well intact. My father has also been found wandering the streets after midnight wearing nothing more than a Depends. They live in Illinois and have my older brother providing caregiving. (He has already procured legal paperwork (Without really discussing this with other family members) to get a General POA, Medical POA, Trustee, and Executor of the Will. (This is a separate issue I will most likely have to deal with at a later date.) My wife and I live in Virginia and have been unable to travel back to Illinois for 12 years. The issue is that my father has owned many firearms, some passed down from generation to generation. Among them, several shotguns, rifles, and handguns. There are easily more than 10 in total. They are locked in a gun safe in his bedroom with the ammunition. He supposedly retains the key as I have been told. I currently have 3 older brothers, all of whom have felony convictions, one of which may be ending his 30 year sentence in about 10 days to be potentially released. (Another issue I don't need to get into right now). I am retired military and a 100% disabled vet. I have no felony convictions or drug problems. My nephew, who was the primary caregiver for years, violated his felony probation and will be sentenced to prison later this month. No family members, besides myself, have a driver's license. This has led to many missed/cancelled/rescheduled doctor's appointments for my parents. (again, another story there). The only other close family member is a niece who lives not far from them. But she works as a nurse full time and has a family. She also recently within the past 18 months lost her father (my brother), and her father in law, and she has been dealing with that. I have brought this up to her as a concern many times over the past 6 months, and she agrees that the firearms should be removed. It's time to retire the guns and hunting. But has taken no action. I have talked to the police in town and they too agree that the weapons should be removed from the premises and secured. Another issue with this is control of family assets. My brother has stepped in and basically claimed everything as his, taking possession of vehicle titles, taking inventories, and going through every nook and cranny looking for valuables, jewelry, safe combinations, stocks, checks, loose cash, etc. (He too has mental health issues, paranoid delusions, schizophrenia, long-term drug abuse, alcohol abuse, inhalant abuse (huffing canned air), with moderate brain damage and inability to express clear thoughts through communication. He has convinced himself and my parents that others are stealing from them. (My father was also a hoarder and would "collect" anything. American Pickers Frank Fritz had literally been to their home.)So what should the best course of action be?I am not some gun nut. (Yes, I served 22 years in the military, 2 different branches, and have fired many weapons over the years as well as served as unit armorer and range NCO/safety for dozens if not hundreds of quals. But I have never actually owned a firearm. I am literally the most qualified in my family to even own firearms. (not to mention the only one who can legally own one, other than my niece, but I think she wants to keep guns out of her home and away from her young son). These firearms have little to no sentimental value to me, so I am not trying to jump on the inheritance early. I have simply kept distant and expressed no interest in being involved as the family has had their issues. Advice?

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Lots of advice here! I would suggest that speed is more important than legal and ethical considerations.

Illinois has some radical and restrictive gun laws. I would try to get in touch with the National Rifle Association in Illinois and get their advice and maybe cooperation.

Or you could tell Mom and Dad that the Antiques Roadshow is in town and that you are taking them to have their items appraised. A week later, tell them you received an unbelievable offer, but it will take 60 days for the payment to settle. By then, they will have likely forgotten.😁 🙏
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Reply to SeniorProsBrad
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I reread your post and noted that your brother the POA has schizophrenia and has lived on site for a long time.

We had a similar situation with my uncle who had schizophrenia. He lived with grandma and he had all of the POA's and was on all of the financial documents.

I think the schizophrenics lawyer, who was in the house, removed the guns at some point. (We also had guns.)

Our family's experience when interacting with a schizophrenic family member is that your hands are tied and there is not much you can do. It is legal to have untreated mental illness in the US.
We were unable to have any pleasant conversations or negotiate at all with the schizophrenic.

I would reinforce that sometimes in life you are in situations in which there is not much you can do.

The bigger problem was that the schizophrenic was unable to maintain the property (even though there was plenty of money.)

Grandma lived to be 99 on the property. My uncle died from Lou Gehrigs 1 month later on the property.

One thing that I've learned since is that schizophrenics average life span is about 15-25 years less than one without schizophrenia. Your parents could realistically outlive your brother.

My mother had to back away from the situation as her brother was so abusive and you could not have a level headed conversation with him.

Sometimes in life we are in situations in which there is not much we can do. You've talked to the local police.
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have you taken away the access to ammunition?
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I would consider talking with a counselor and social worker as well as talking to a legal representative and the physicians treating your family members. You may also be able to get help from a local hospital and mental health facility for your other relatives and for your own mental health. Consider having a elder law attorney consultation to determine the asset values and security requirements placed on the property to protect yourself parents.
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Reply to Senior8
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Talk to your dad about them.
What one or two would he like to keep in the family?
In Illinois there's a state wide group called 'Gun's Saves Lives'. I'm sure there a chapter near him that might be able to ensure they are taken care of legally (sell or donate).
https://www.gunssavelife.com/site-map/contact-info/
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Wow, so there is quite a bit of money involved here. That makes it more likely that assets could be siphoned off by your brother without anyone knowing. I read the comment you replied to me and I think we are both thinking the same way. Maybe it is time for them to be in a facility. I think the situation is very volatile. If your brother is taking all of these things, what will happen when your parents need to be in a facility? How will they pay for it? I don't think there is much you can do, but call APS and report the situation. I hope you update us with whatever happens. It does sound like he's trying to cut everyone else out of any inheritance and I fear for your parents in a home full of guns while your brother is paranoid.

Thing is, there isn't much you can do. That's why I hope you won't use any of your resources to try to "solve" these problems for your parents. I hope they have enough if they need to be cared for in a facility as I suspect your brother will go through the assets very quickly. If he has mental illness he will make bad decisions.

Please update us with so we know how it all pans out. When you ask questions here we are always happy to know how things turned out, both on a personal level but also because you are never the only one with these concerns and each situation we hear about adds to the pot of knowledge collected here.
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Reply to SamTheManager
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Armynurse,
I have read your subsequent replies, and was going to suggest you offer to buy the guns, but you mention you are just getting by.
Perhaps they could be sold to a gun dealer, or as was also mentioned, disabled in some way by removing a crucial piece.
This sounds like a dangerous situation with 2 elderly dementia patients and a mentally unstable felon.
I hope you find a way to resolve that issue before someone gets hurt, and then, keep out of this family drama! You do not need to be a part of it! Your presence, and your involvement will not help your parents or your brothers. They will likely not accept any kind of help from you.
Thank you for your service.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Armynurse, indeed it does sound like drama. I hope you put yourself and your wife first however this plays out and that might be all you can do.
You have found a safe haven on this forum, so keep us posted if you will.
Thank you for your Service!!
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I know of people who "removed" the guns from the house by hiding them where the demented person couldn't go. They put them in the attic and concealed them somewhere up there. The person who owned the guns was unable to climb the ladder into the attic and unable to figure out where the guns had gone. Technically the guns weren't stolen, just put in a safe place.
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waytomisery Mar 5, 2026
That’s exactly what I did until I could figure out what to do with a hunting rifle ,
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I don't think it was legal and I don't think it was ethical but my girlfriend removed all of her brother's firearms while he was at the VA hospital getting treated for a month. She is storing them at her ex husbands house.

In order to qualify for caregivers coming to the house for free through a VA program there could be no firearms in the house.

Her brother was angry when he got back to his house but the firearms had been removed.

Sometimes you have to do the unethical not legal thing.
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Oh, I wouldn't take any sort of loan out to do anything like this for your family. It will risk your future and it will not likely help anything in the long run. You should call the cops back and say there is a dementia diagnosis, and a couple of felons in the house. Those two things alone should be enough to have the cops remove the guns. You should continue to report this entire situation to APS. This is a tragedy waiting to happen. Your dad especially needs placement if he is outside at night in adult briefs. It sounds like they have money and your local fam is trying to preserve it for themselves instead of using it for your parents' care, which is what it should be for.

I see no good options here aside from reporting this situation to APS and the police. Repeatedly. Especially if your other brother will be returning soon, adding another felon to the mix where they are not supposed to be around firearms. Not judging anyone, just pointing out things to mention to the authorities.
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armynurse70 Mar 5, 2026
You hit the nail on the head. My Dad was always very miserly and Mom was convinced they were broke all the time. Dad would often say "We live on a fixed income" just to try to say he was broke. Again, I never bothered to dig into their finances, but I knew they were always "well off" financially. Considering he had his Corvette he never drove, a few Harleys in the garage, then needed a special enclosed trailer for his Heritage Softtail he rarely rode. His boats, his new truck, and his ability to write a check for a home he didn't need.... Needless to say, he worked, scrimped and saved for his elder years and now I have a brother who is stepping in and believing he was the chosen heir to the throne, and it's his duty to save as much money from being spent on anything. When I asked my brother why he never bothered to involve anybody else, he simply went down the list saying: Brother A is in prison, Brother B has no wife or kids and has lung cancer, he is also not interested in being a part of it. Brother C passed away, He is Brother D and lives there, and I am the youngest and live out of state. So. basically he justified it to himself why he should take control of everything. As for the nieces and nephews, I have come to the conclusion that they only value the two of them. My own kids however, 4 in total, aren't even aware of the situation. My brother is practicing a form of parental alienation as well by badmouthing the rest of the family members, removing pictures of other family members in the home, and putting his own son's picture right next to where my mom sits. A son he doesn't even talk to and did not raise. A son my mom has only met once or twice in 30+ years. Basically, IMHO, my brother lives in his own little world where everyone needs to kiss his butt if they want to inherit anything. (literally words he spoke and I have a recording of). Illinois is a two party state when it comes to recorded videos/sound. So I am not sure if it is entirely legal to present my recordings if it were to be challenged in court. (Cams were in place prior to him moving in. (No he was not asked to move in. He did not ask to move in. He simply showed up one day and said this is my home and that he never changed his address when he left 14 years prior.) As for the guns. They would be considered a part of the "trust" assets. But this too is vague as I do not believe my brother has actually initiated a "trust". He said that was the intent. But he hasn't actually notified anybody about how the trust is organized or what "assets" are a part of it. Which means, I would have to call him and hope he is honest about everything. (Mind you, I already recorded the phone calls he made with the banks and mutual fund company to know how much money is in my parent's accounts.) Supposedly $50k in a safe, $25k in Mom's account, $50k in Dad's account, $7k a month from the pension fund which has about $550k in it, an unknown amount from Social Security for both of them, and an IMRF amount each month (Illinois municipal retirement fund) as well as mom's 401K and various stocks. 2 properties with homes worth $200-$250k each, and an empty lot my Dad bought many years ago for no reason. (Brother wants to sell it so we don't continue to pay taxes every year. But they believe the property to be worth about $15k. I did my own assessment based off of the market and see it worth about $25-$30k, simply because it is ready to build on with water, electrical, and sewage connections already intact. Anyways. While I never pried into their finances, when it did come up through my brother digging into it, I felt it was necessary to get the same information he was collecting. I'm actually curious as to what lies in my Dad's old banking safe. Because inside may be some legal paperwork that would change everything.
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I think you save yourself from this mess. This won’t end well. And you can’t fix it based on what you have described. You can’t intervene without legal help and you can’t get legal help without endangering your own future. Even with legal help, without being physically there to manage things, you may not get very far. It’s a sad situation but you can’t undo your parents’ bad planning and poor choices. You haven’t been back to Illinois for a reason.
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How I handled it was I and my relatives went to mom's house when she was not there (she gave me the keys and knew I was cleaning her house out to be sold). I told my trustworthy relatives that mom had guns and ammo (they already knew) and that I would not be taking them with me and didn't want to know what happened to them. The guns "disappeared" and I had no knowledge of where they went. I could with a good conscience tell anyone that asked the guns went missing. Mom freaked out, but the police I'm sure were very relieved, as were neighbors.
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What a nightmare scenario! I’m so sorry, for all of it. Also grateful you’ve escaped the madness and built a solid life for yourself. Have you reported the situation of your parents as two elders with dementia in a gun filled, unsafe home, including the wandering, and questionable caregiving from a mentally ill family member? I’d think it’s worth reporting and re-reporting if needed. Your parents need a safe environment despite not being able to see or understand that. Some lawyers offer a free consultation appointment, this might be advisable to see if there are ways to best proceed given the supposed legal documents your sibling claims. Again, I’m sorry, I have a difficult sibling (been dealing with some of his crazy just today) and know some of the frustration, but you seem to have it coming from all sides. I wish you peace in the storm
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From an AI query:

"In Illinois, there is a legal mechanism specifically designed for this situation, and it can result in police removing the firearms even if your father refuses.
The two most relevant paths are FOID revocation / Clear and Present Danger reporting and a Firearms Restraining Order (Illinois’ version of a red-flag law).

1. Illinois Firearms Restraining Order (FRO) – Fastest Way
Illinois allows a Firearms Restraining Order under the Illinois Firearms Restraining Order Act.

This allows a judge to order police to remove firearms from someone who poses a danger to themselves or others.

Who can file:

Family members
Household members
Law enforcement
You do not need your father’s permission.

What the judge considers Evidence such as:

Dementia diagnosis
Paranoia or delusions
Unsafe behavior
Threats or fear of harm
Access to firearms
What happens if granted

Police will:

Serve the order
Seize the firearms
Remove the FOID card
Store the weapons

Emergency orders can be issued within 24 hours without the person present.

2. “Clear and Present Danger” Report (Very Common in Illinois)
Illinois has a mental-health firearm reporting system tied to the Illinois State Police and the Firearm Owner's Identification Card Act.

If someone reports that a gun owner is a “clear and present danger,” the state police can:

Revoke the FOID card
Require surrender of firearms
Reports can be made by:

Family members
Doctors
Police
Therapists
Social workers

Once the FOID is revoked, the firearms must legally be removed from the home.

3. Adult Protective Services (Strongly Recommended)
Because both parents have dementia, you can contact Illinois Adult Protective Services.

APS can:

Investigate the caregiving situation
Evaluate safety risks
Work with police to remove firearms

Evaluate whether the caregiver is appropriate. This is particularly important because:

The brother is a felon.
Under Illinois law, a felon cannot possess firearms or ammunition.
If he has access to the safe or control of the guns, law enforcement may treat that as illegal possession.

4. Police Welfare Check
You can also call the local police department or sheriff where they live and explain:

Both parents have dementia and paranoia
There are multiple firearms
A felon caregiver lives in the home
Police can document the situation and sometimes initiate the restraining order themselves."
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Reply to Geaton777
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In Illinois, in order to legally possess a firearm or ammunition, you must apply for a Firearm Owners Identification Card (FOID) which is issued by the Illinois State Police.

Do you know if your dad has a valid FOID?

The Illinois State PD are the ones I would contact to find out how to get these guns legally *** AND SAFELY*** removed from your dad's home. They should also be able to tell you if dad has a current FOID and if so, how to get it revoked.

Bear in mind, if he has these guns illegally, that is, without the proper licensing, then there is the possibility he could be arrested.
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I grew up with a father who was a gun designer. We had guns in the house as kids but never really knew about it because they were stored in bits and pieces throughout the house. Since his profession was well known he thought keeping them in a safe would attract thiefs. How would it work to disable the guns by removing pieces? Sort of like disabling the car when someone wants to keep driving, but is deemed unsafe? I know this is a sort of weird idea and wouldn't work if the guns are frequently used, because someone would notice there are parts missing. It may work, however, if they are just kept in the cabinet and no one ever gets them out to clean or use them. I t may also work if you have a dementia person in the house who won't give up the guns and wouldn't even know if they had been tampered with.
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waytomisery Mar 4, 2026
I never understood locked gun cabinets with a glass door . Just break the glass.
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Maybe I watch too many shows about this kind of thing, but wouldn't a felon in their home be enough reason for LEO to remove all weapons.
Could you contact a detective in the PD and have them monitor him/them and or even ATF.
I'm not sure, just my thoughts on the situation.
I hope you get this figured out.
And just to add im sorry you have to deal with the brother who has POA, he should step up and do the right thing. Family, gotta love em, nope.
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Slartibartfast Mar 4, 2026
True, especially if anyone is still on parole being in a house with firearms is probably a violation.
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I think I would call the police again and maybe a lawyer and ask what else can be done about the firearms . Tell them the other family members are felons.
I don’t blame your niece for not wanting to be involved, your brothers sound scary .

To be honest , as far as your brother taking over POA etc and brainwashing your parents , it’s very sad , but does happen .
But it’s an expensive battle for guardianship that you could likely lose.

I would call APS and report your parents as vulnerable elders and let them handle it . You could also call your parent’s County Area Agency of Aging.

I commend you in trying to do the right thing regarding the firearms.
I also understand why you have kept a distance from your family . Don’t feel like you have to step in regarding placing your parents because they aren’t going to listen to you anyway. Let the chips fall where they may with that . Let APS and Area Agency of Aging handle it.

There likely won’t be any inheritance anyway. Your brother will have taken it all . You don’t want to be POA in this mess anyway because of the already missing money etc . It would be a nightmare that you don’t want to deal with over the Medicaid lookback.

Your hands are really tied. You have no power . You really can not help your parents. This is a case where APS , a state appointed government guardian who is not family would have a better chance intervening than you would.

The situation is your parents’ own doing for not planning better and not assigning a more responsible person to be their POA etc ahead of time. You can’t fix that . This is on your parents. Unfortunately , not everything can be fixed.
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Reply to waytomisery
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Perhaps an out of the box idea but what if you traveled to their home and installed a new gun safe that only you have the combination to and moved all the guns into it and then left. Guns wouldn't have to be transported and you wouldn't have to store them. Dad could watch you put them into the safe and would feel he was retaining ownership without any of your motley crew having actual access to them.

FWIW it sounds like time to move your parents to memory care and sell the home and assets using an estate liquidator, but with brother in charge that's probably a non starter. Unfortunately for all of you.
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armynurse70 Mar 4, 2026
Traveling would only be an option if I had my oldest daughter involved and willing to drive up. (She lives 6 hours south of me). It's the cost that's the issue as we are just making ends meet. I could get a home equity loan... That would give me access to $60k to hire lawyers to contest things. Thing is. My brother isn't intelligent or mentally well. None of my brothers can be trusted. Which also means... None of them trust me. Mind you, I leave them all alone. My issue is. My brother was looking into my parent's assets the week he moved out of the home with his girlfriend (of 20 years, who he still sees many times a week). He has stated (on Ring cam) that he wants to sell the in town lot, and how he will inherit the in town home and farm. (3 properties total). He basically thinks in his head that everything comes to him because he is next in line. I just want them to have a live in caregiver while they are both alive. My brother thinks transferring everything into a trust makes it so Medicare will cover nursing home expenses. (He doesn't understand the 5 year look back period). Basically. My parents had piss poor planning and were too busy to fix things before they lost their cognition. (I and my niece are nurses. They picked my brother to be the medical poa 30 years ago.) Makes zero sense.
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You have spoken with the police with your concern and they agreed that firearms should be taken away BUT did they guide you on how this should happen? Seems to me that you have done due diligence and it is now the responsibility of the POA. If the POA refuses to get involved then call the police and express your immediate concern and what legally they can do to remove the guns.
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armynurse70 Mar 4, 2026
The POA is concerned with assets and protecting them. He hates that Ring cams were installed in the home and will mess with them constantly. His delusions are that people are stealing from the other property where many possessions are stored and stated he wants to install ADT alarm system there. This tells you a lot. That he cares more about property than he does someone being able to see if our parents have fallen or wandered off. (Mind you, I have not been to Illinois in 12 years. I do not know what property is left. I have never asked my parents about their assets. I haven't asked them for a dime in 30 years. The last time they ever came to see me together while I was in the military was 30+ years ago. I did fly my mom to Hawaii to see me and to Washington. Anyways... Their minds aren't all there and they do not know me. (basically, I am one of their boys and am one of the sons who is just like the others. All needing money all the time, hooked on drugs, and cannot be trusted.) The POA would see me coming in as a way to steal dad's guns. He sees them as $$$. I see them as a risk. FYI, The other safe in the home apparently has like $50k in cash inside and a Will from many years back. But nobody knows where the combo is. Again. They planned poorly.
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Cal, the police in their area and ask how to handle this. They maybe able to get a warrent and take the guns out. You have very good reasons to want these guns out.

Also, your parents need to be placed.
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